I am the definition of straight
The title is not a click bait. I know it looks like one, but, trust me, it is not.
But, first things first. I am Allen, 31 years old and I have been married for the past 15 years. I am the prototype of the generic straight male and I have to say I love myself the way I am. As a plus, I have never had any double edge sexual experiences like threesomes, orgies and so on. I am a pretty regular guy in this regard. I have been with the same girl for over 15 years and I know how crazy it sounds, considering that I am only 31 years of age.
So, you see, you can’t really get straighter than I am. And this is where the madness begins.
This is what I believe it is always true. But let me provide you with a context. I am pretty social, both in real life and online. Which means I am part of several Facebook groups and I get to chat with a lot of people, on a lot of topics. But there is one group in particular I spend most of my time on. I know almost everyone there and I am in good relationships with pretty much everybody. I am a known dedicated debater and we use to talk about a lot of things, primarily philosophy.
Now, as you can imagine, in a group containing over 14,000 members, diversity is the rule. There are a lot of different human specimens and by “different” I mean radically different. Obviously, there are several known gay guys who I am good friends with. They are those types of individuals that don’t find any shame in acknowledging their sexual orientation and I have always find that behavior quite refreshing.
They couldn’t give less fucks than they do and I believe that is the way to go for anyone. Anyway, with time, I became quite fond of a lot of guys there. And, inevitably, they of me. Especially, as I came to find out a bit later, one of the few gay guys. At first, I didn’t notice it. I though he was just admiring me as a friend. But then signs began crowding and becoming more explicit by the day, up to the point where the situation had become obvious.
“Damn, son, you look so good I could ask you to adopt me”
Yep, that is what the guy told me one day, after I updated my Facebook profile pic. And it was interesting to realize that his compliment made me feel as good as one coming from a woman. This is because, in reality, it doesn’t matter who compliments you. The rush you will be experiencing is the same in both cases. It is nice to feel admired and it matters less whether the one admiring you is the same sex as you or not.
So, yea, it felt good to know he is attracted to me. I mean, it was certainly different than if it were a woman, but it was good nonetheless. Then came the time for the Facebook gathering we have been talking about for more than 2 years. Most of the active members already live in the same town, so they meet constantly. I am among the few that live in a different city.
The reasonable expectation was for me to get to them and so I did.
I did not see that coming
Ok, so I have to say that the gathering has been like a madhouse. We were like 7-8 guys and 4-5 girls, a lot of booze and plenty of fun for hours in a row. It was a pleasure to meet them all, since I didn’t know what to expect, despite the fact that we already knew each other through Facebook. The online environment, however, is a bit different than real life, because of the so many things it takes away from human interaction. Like the mimic, the gestures, that feeling of closeness and intimacy. You know what I mean.
Well, anyway, the gathering lasted for more than 8 hours, taking us late into the night. As I was just a visitor, naturally, I had nowhere to stay overnight. And the only guy that could house me for a night was Raul. You know, the gay guy that was giving me the sugar eyes.
He was a cool dude, I gotta give it that. So, yea, I took the offer. Or should I say the bait? I mean, it wasn’t like I was afraid of anything. After all, he knew I was straight, I knew he was gay and everything was OK between us. I thought I had him figured out. Little did I know that I was yet to figure myself out.
Raul was playing the guitar…and soon began playing at a different instrument
Raul was a great guy. Just as funny and as smart as I thought he would be. Needless to say, we took our time before calling it a night. Several more drinks later and couple of guitar songs and I felt like I was in another world. Didn’t even realize that Raul’s hand was resting on my crotch, until it was already too late.
It felt a bit awkward to me, but not enough to remove his hand. He saw my hesitation and pulled my pants down. As far as I can remember, that was, let’s say, a delicious BJ he gave me. The first coming from a man and I am not quite sure it will be the last.
The fuck was I on to?
I asked myself this question for a lot of time. I continued to remain a close friend to Raul, but it just felt awkward a bit from that point on. It actually made me question my sexuality and after a long inner struggle I realized that I was straight, nonetheless. It was just that…things seemed a bit more complicated than that. I guess I never thought about having a sexual relationship with a guy before, which caused it to catch me off guard when it suddenly happened.
Post-factum, I guess I am OK with it. It was like a little experiment and didn’t actually hurt no one. My wife doesn’t know the truth, obviously, because it would definitely hurt her. But, in the end, it was an experience definitely worth a try.
We only have one life, dude. If we aren’t going to do what we like, what is the point in living it? My advice is this – Forget about everything you thought you know about social norms. If you think you really know the type of man that you are, put yourself in an unexpected situation and see what happens.
The result might surprise you and could literally change your life.