For Christian rock star Trey Pearson life has always been led by religious beliefs, so, for more than 20 years he denied his sexuality.
‘Most of us reach at least one pivotal moment in our lives that better defines who we are,’ Pearson says. ‘These last several months have been the hardest—but also have ended up being the most freeing months—of my life. To make an extremely long story short, I have come to be able to admit to myself, and to my family, that I am gay.’
Growing up in a conservative Christian family made Pearson follow tradition and not his heart, so he married a woman named Lauren and have a child together. Pearson explains how he tried all his life to be straight.
‘I had never before admitted to myself that I was gay, let alone to anyone else,’ he says.
‘I never wanted to be gay. I was scared of what God would think and what all of these people I loved would think about me; so it never was an option for me. I have been suppressing these attractions and feelings since adolescence. I’ve tried my whole life to be straight.’
He was so confused by religious beliefs that he made himself think he loved women, and even forced to romanticize stories about being happily married.
‘I had always romanticized the idea of falling in love with a woman; and having a family had always been my dream. In many ways, that dream has come true. But I have also come to realize a lot of time has passed in my life pushing away, blocking out and not dealing with real feelings going on inside of me. I have tried not to be gay for more than 20 years of my life.’
When Pearson came out, his wife Lauren was supportive and helped him go through the change of realization.
‘Lauren has been the most supportive, understanding, loving and gracious person I could ever ask for, as I have come to face this. And now I am trying to figure out how to co-parent while being her friend, and how to raise our children.
‘I know this is how God made me, and I am proud of who I am. I know there is nothing I can do to change it.’