I know it is a very personal decision to get out of the closet but the idea behind this entry is to encourage those who are doubtful, there is a whole world out there for gay people and you are missing a great part of it if you keep yourself in a small closet for the rest of your life.
When you are into the closet you can’t express yourself the way you are. You have to be acting all the time. Being gay or bi is not only a question about who do you like to have sex with, it is a whole mindset and in many situations you have to act as you are straight when you are not.
What are you afraid of? Being rejected by some people? So what? If they can’t accept you the way you are, are they worth of your attention? If somebody loves you as a friend, as a son or as a person they should keep loving you no matter you are gay or not. You’d be surprised of the reactions of some people you thought they will reject you and you were wrong.
In my case, I am bisexual so for me there are a bit less reasons to get out of the closet, after all I am half straight and I don’t have to act like I like girls because I actually do but nonetheless I decided to come out as soon as I discovered it (and I was 37). My parents were really surprised about it and in the beginning they thought I was kidding but once they realized it, they accepted it and even though they would prefer me to be straight I had no problems at all about this.
Being in a closet is being alone most part of the time. You can’t have many gay friends or if you do, you can’t hang out with them as you would if you were out. Having fun is a very important thing in life and many times you will be forced to make plans you don’t want just to keep your straight facade. Enjoy your life the way you like and don’t let your fears to force you to be the person you are not.
So, you are married and you have a family and you don’t want to destroy everything. Ask yourself a question, do you love your wife? Are you still attracted to her? If the answer is “no” don’t even hesitate about it and get the hell out of the closet. You are doing yourself a very big favor and you are also making her the favor of not being married to somebody who doesn’t love her.
Divorces happen everyday for stupid reasons and this is not one of them. If the answer is “yes” then you are bisexual and you should let your wife know your real you. You may even get a surprise and she can accept the fact that you want a guy sometimes, I can tell you that.