Cameron Jeffrey Wilson, 27, we don’t want to feel your pain (Image from

We never understood placing a loaded gun next to your johnson. Aren’t you just asking for trouble? 

Cameron Jeffrey Wilson, 27, was one of those men that likes to carry his pistol near his junk in his front pocket and on April 5, the gun discharged and sent a bullet through his testicles and into his thigh. Yeah, we’re done! Oh, but it wasn’t all done for Cameron. 

If you shot yourself in any body part, your first reaction should be to seek medical attention. Well, not if you’re a 13-time convicted felon like poor Cameron is and it’s illegal for him to possess a gun. Instead of heading directly to a hospital, he and his girlfriend to first drive to Lincoln Park in Wenatchee to hand off the pistol to a friend.

Now it’s off to the hospital to see how much damage the bullet had done.  So not only has he shot himself, illegally possessed a firearm, handed it off to a friend to attempt to cover it up, it gets worse. 

Photo by Piron Guillaume on Unsplash

While he is on the operating table all medicated and under and while doctors are working on his flesh to see how much they need to do, a balloon full of marijuana slips out of his anus, butt, rectum, omg. 

What else could happen?  Let’s see what the police find in his car.  Oh, just a bag of methamphetamine inside his bloodied jeans.

He did get a break.  The police decided to NOT arrest him at the hospital but did issue a warrant for his arrest for suspicion of second-degree felon in possession of a firearm and unlawful possession of meth.  He was kind enough to turn himself in 2 days later.

Oh, is he all done?  Well of course not.  During the strip search at the station, another balloon of marijuana slipped from Wilson’s anus.  And that comes with another fine, possession of a controlled substance in a correctional facility.

So that was the extent of …. oh, no, there’s more. You need to protect your ass, right?  Especially if things keep falling out of it. From the jail, Wilson called his girlfriend multiple times, asking her not to cooperate with any of the investigations. Now, four counts of tampering with a witness are added onto his charges. 

On May 1, he pleaded not guilty to second-degree felon in possession of a firearm and unlawful possession of meth, as well as possession of a controlled substance in a correctional facility. Trials in both cases are set for June 18.

On May 20, he pleaded not guilty to tampering with a witness. Trial is set for July 9.

What’s the tally?  He has 3 trials in the future, had surgery on his testicles and thigh, “released” 2 bags of marijuana, was hiding 1 bag of meth, and now he is being held on $110,000 bail.

See kids, it doesn’t pay to play with your johnson’s well-being. Don’t point guns at your johnson.

Image by Ryan McGuire from Pixabay

Source: The Wenatchee World


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