Hi, I am Brandon and I am writing this as a gratitude act towards the love of my life Joseph, who gave me a new life and taught me what love is. I didn’t know what it would be like to live in a homophobic and abusive family until I have reached 20 and decided that I should share the fact that I am gay with those around me. I can see now how naïve I have been. I must say it was a hell. My dad beat me up pretty bad that day but it wasn’t like it was the first time that that was happening. We are three kids in the family: me, my younger brother and my older sister that moved with her boyfriend a year ago, precisely because of his abusive nature. He drinks a lot and he is extremely violent when he does, but this doesn’t seem to bother my mom that much. She thinks we should all follow his will because he is the head of the family and everything he says is right and valid.
Needless to say that we have lived in fear for so many years, witnessing our mother being beat up and then having to listen to her supporting his behavior and inflicting even more fear in us by saying that we could get the same if we do not behave. Which it happened, of course, and more than once. Ever since I was little I feared him and this is the reason that kept me from telling him that I am gay in the initial phase. I only told my mom, but she obviously couldn’t keep the secret, especially since she appeared to be horrified. We have never talked about sexuality or any other subject that interested me, so I had no idea what their thoughts were on this matter. My dad got furious and beat me up quite well on the first day, then he forbidden me to go to school for two weeks. I almost got expelled because of that. Then his attitude towards me became very violent from then on. He would only call me a fag, saying that I don’t deserve wearing his name and that I was no longer his son.
Soon I became very depressed and I started fearing coming back home because I knew how the day was going to be and I was sick of the whole deal. I started thinking about running from home and I almost did couple of times.
I was still 15 though and I was afraid to take the chance. Then I met Joseph, this sweet and amazing guy, 3 years older than me, with the help of a friend. Joseph was her cousin and he came to visit her when we gathered at her house for some quality time on one evening. It was love at first site. He was the type I had always dreamed of: candid, amusing, intelligent and interesting. I immediately fell for him and I told his cousin the truth as soon as he left. She arranged us a meeting for the next day, because she knew he was also gay.
Needless to say that we got together pretty fast and his amazing personality is what kept me afloat for a while. I felt like I was sick whenever I was away from him and I couldn’t wait to get back together again so I can kiss him and tell him how much I love him.
Then my dad found out about my relationship, I don’t know how, and he lost his minds. He tried to attack me again, but this time I wouldn’t let him do it. I ran. I knew I would never come back, because there was nothing for me there. I didn’t have a family.
I went for the only person that could help me in these moments – Joseph. I told him about my situation and I confessed him my love and the fact that I couldn’t leave him no matter what. That was the first time I say him crying as he hugged me and told me that I was the love of his life. We have moved together and been living like this ever since. Regardless of whatever happened in the past, I consider myself to be the luckiest man in the world. I have found a reason to live and Joseph’s love is what gave me hope and determination to take my life into my own hands.
I want to thank him for being this lovely being that brought light into my life and for supporting me when I was in need. The love between us will last for a lifetime and I couldn’t be more grateful for what happened. I love you Joseph!