Congratulations and welcome out to the confused saga of a Reddit user who posted about accepting a date from another guy, despite always having thought of himself as straight.
The entire story is pretty sweet, but the condensed version is that he just got out of a long relationship with a woman, and happened to sit down next to a guy on a train and started making small talk. They had good chemistry and got closer over their train ride, and at some point the user realized that he was getting nervous and flirty and romantic. It was a completely unexpected experience for him — and yet who can say no to the pleasures of being wooed?
And so he went along with it, flirting back, and eventually exchanged phone numbers and made plans for a movie-cuddle date at his place.
Now he’s feeling excited and a little nervous because he has no idea how to have sex with men or even what his sexuality is, so he’s asked Reddit for some advice. Here’s ours:
First, it doesn’t matter what your sexuality is, or what you call yourself. The best dating advice we’ve ever heard was on the podcast Throwing Shade and it was to meet people you like and then spend time with them.
Second, it’s fine to be honest and tell the guy you’ve never done this before but you’re enjoying your first time with him. Ask him to be patient since you might make mistakes. And thank him for showing you a side of yourself you didn’t know you had. A lot of the advice you’re getting on Reddit is about anal sex (because only men have butts, apparently) but there are a lot of ways to have fun with a man that hopefully he can show you.
Third — and this is our favorite part — explore a little of the community you’ve discovered. Maybe you want to be a part of it, maybe not. Up to you. There’s more to being gay or bi or queer (or whatever) than just who you fall in love with — there’s a whole world of movies and parties and slang and celebrities and art and history and science that straight people usually never even notice. Start with a sampler-platter of LGBT culture (the Sewers of Paris podcast is a good start), see what you like, and go from there.