Contrary to popular opinion, not all gay men enjoy anal sex. There are a variety of reasons as to why some of us don’t go to that level, but what happens if you are in a relationship with someone who flat out tells you its something you don’t enjoy? Furthermore, what if it’s something you happen to not only be good at, but love to do? Does this put a wedge in your blossoming relationship, or is it something you can overlook for the sake of the person and not the actual method of lovemaking?
A user on Reddit told his story about this happening to him, with the title of the thread saying “To All You Doms Out There With Boyfriends Who Don’t Like Anal.” He explained how his boyfriend told him he flat out doesn’t like it, and worried if he would leave him because of it. Whomever this guy is, he seems like a standup individual, as he was able to see past that element that goes into a gay relationship and just see the guy who he happens to be in love with.
Here’s what he had to say:
“My boyfriend and I shared a moment that I think someone out there could relate to.”
“So we’re at home (me and my boyfriend of one year), in bed, making out; everything’s better than great! Then my boyfriend puts a hand on my chest, gently pushes me away, and won’t look at me…he has something to say…I take his hand and wait patiently. He says to me “I don’t want you to hate me…but I don’t think I can do anal…”. I, am, floored.”
“This beautiful man thinks that I would hate him for not being entirely willing to engage in something I’m completely comfortable without. I took him into my arms and held him as close as I could, and this is what I said to him, “do you feel my arms, that is love, being there for you for the rest of my life (and you will outlive me), that is love, sticking my dick up your ass, that is not love, that is pleasure (ideally for both of us).”
“Pleasure is not love, because pleasure can exist without love; it doesn’t matter how we experience pleasure together, because the love will always be there.” I’ve had anal sex in the past; I’ve given, received, and loved it all, but that doesn’t mean it’s for everyone, and that isn’t a terrible, unforgivable thing. Love your partner; be open with him so you know what he’s comfortable with and what he’s not; don’t make him feel obligated or hated, because that isn’t love, or pleasure…that’s cruel.”
Is it possible to overlook this aspect of a relationship?
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