What It’s Like To Be A Gay, Insultingly Handsome Fraternity Brother

What It’s Like To Be A Gay, Insultingly Handsome Fraternity Brother


An anonymous man who goes by the moniker Humorlessness has taken to Reddit in search of alllll those gay frat brothers out there, and his question is deceptively straightforward:

Gay Fraternity brothers? how do you not make it incredibly awkward?

frat gays

He elucidates thus:

So, fraternities seem to be the type of environment that is very open to heterosexuality and machismo. A lot of times, this is how brothers relax. For example, many frat brothers feel comfortable relating their casual sex experiences to each other, and it isn’t a big deal. Do gay frat members do this type of thing with their straight brothers (Or only with their gay brothers?) Are their straight brothers receptive to this type of talk about gay sex? What about formals or other occasions where you would bring dates? Would sex be awkward to even consider mentioning on occasions like these? It would seem to me that it’s incredibly awkward to bond with your brothers if you don’t even talk about these things with each other. How do you manage to make it work?

Then, like (unverifiable) magic, the answers spewed forth, and they aren’t the horror stories you’d expect — i.e, duct-tape disasters, being unceremoniously dropped during first keg-stand, etc.

“As far as how my relationship with the straight brothers was,” writes Chahmeleons, “I’d say it was 98% positive. I could joke around with them and was just one of the guys.”

He continues:

The other two percent, well… There was one brother who always felt like he was going out of his way to show acceptance and I wish he would have just chilled out. It got to the point where every joke he made when we hung out referenced my sexuality. Nothing offensive, exactly the opposite in fact. But it kept me from feeling like I was just his friend and rather his “gay friend”.

“The guys never felt uncomfortable about me being with a guy,” pepperMD writes, “and there were a couple of guys in the recent history of the fraternity that were much more promiscuous and flamboyant than myself.”

One time I came to a meeting with huge hickeys across my neck, and a couple of guys were doing the normal joshing (“what happened there?” “Looks like someone had a good night!”) And my response was “You should see the other guy!” They loved it.”


Because it’s 2016 and the world is changing in ways we can’t explain, there don’t appear to be any terrifying tales of discrimination or fervid homophobia at all. At least, not yet.

In its place, there’s some friendly advise to alll those aspiring gay fraternity bros out there:

“Alcohol helps,” says Elranzer, none too helpfully.

“This is gonna sound kinda dumb,” says What_Is_ETT, “but find a fraternity with a lot of science majors or with a reputation for being nerdy. I find they tend to be more accepting than the bro ones, worked for me. I found out the president and asked him a bunch of questions, and let him know that if there was ever any hazing i would back out. He told me there wasn’t and he didn’t lie to me.”

And there you have it.

Any chance any of you have had experiences with frats and frat bros? Weigh in in the comments below (and feel free to lie.) 

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