Home Fun Gay horoscope – still funny, equally true (Part 3)

Gay horoscope – still funny, equally true (Part 3)

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We have already introduced you two parts of our Gay horoscope – the firsts one (Aries, Taurus, Gemini and Cancer) and the second part of the queer horoscope (Leo, Virgo, Libra and Scorpio). Now, it is time to know about the other four Zodiac signs – Sagittarius, Capricorn, Aquarius and Pisces. So, let’s start.

Looks like our journey through the stars has reached to an end, so let’s see what the last 4 signs are telling us.

Sagittarius

Ok, so first we need to enumerate this sign’s positive aspects. These are enthusiasm and optimism. That’s it. What? THAT’S IT! But don’t worry, it will compensate with the rest of its characteristics. For example, those born under this sign are extremely sensitive, snobs and opportunistic. Plus, they will get very upset very fast, especially if you call them sensitive, snobs or opportunistic. They’ll just reply that they’re modern and sociable. Despite everybody clearly seeing the lie. Now there’s one thing you should be aware of. These little fuckers are extremely lucky. Sagittarius is actually the luckiest of the Zodiac signs. No matter what you’ll throw at them, they will keep getting out of it by pure luck. Also, they like to brag about it a lot. They seem like nice guys, right?

Gay celebrities born as Sagittarius:

Sarah Paulson, the American Horror story star
Kristian Nairn, who played Hodor in Game Of Thrones

Capricorn

Capricorn would be what all law fugitives are: suspicious, introverted and antisocial. He also has a lot of complexes and always tries to be in charge of every situation. His life’s purpose is to control people and situations and he is certain he’s always right. He’ll try to convince you of that fact by any means necessary, even resorting to manipulations when necessary. He’s like a fucking pedophile priest. As a matter of fact, the majority of pedophile priests are Capricorns. Yea, I’m joking, I don’t know that as a fact. But they are.

Also, he’s extremely ambitious, his ego goes up the roof and he thinks the world belongs to him. Aside from this, he doesn’t have any humor and he’s not one bit malleable. If you tell him that, he will never forget and he will never forgive. I know we’re dealing with the Zodiac leftovers today. What can you do? Some people are just unfortunate by birth.

Gay celebrities born as Capricorn:

Ricky Martin, world famous singer
Actor Wilson Cruz

Aquarius

Don’t worry, this sign will make it all better. Ok, so the guy born under this sign is a loner, a visionary and a liberal…with rather fixed ideas. He’s also a bit paranoid and selfish…and a tyrant when in charge. And he will burst in flames when contradicted, regardless whether he’s wrong or right. Ok, so I was wrong, this is also a fucked-up sign. There’s nothing to choose from, man, give me a fucking break, will you?

Ok, here are some positive features, since all this negativity left a sour taste in my mouth. People like Aquarius because he’s friendly, partly optimistic and he reveals a childish enthusiasm most of the time. I know he sounds like he is suffering from split personality, but, hey, at least it’s something, right? I mean look at the previous signs.

Gay stars born as Aquarius

Sara Gilbert, the actress playing Darlene Conner in Roseanne.
Allan Cumming, actor.

Pisces

This Zodiac sign is the most confusing of them all. You couldn’t tell, when analyzing the rest of them, right? Well, it’s true. The guys who have been unfortunate enough to be born in this sign are evasive, irrational and unpredictable. They only value emotions, perceptions, impressions and intuitions. Einstein was a Pisces. Are you fucking kidding me? They also believe in magic and they are extremely superstitious and they become extremely nervous and aggressive when they are being asked with logical explanations and reasonable arguments. Let me repeat that for you. Einstein was a Pisces. Hey, I guess no one’s perfect, am I right?

Gay celebrities born as Pisces: