What do you do when your parents hate you?
I know I am not the only one who has gone through these things. But I hope my experience will help others realize that there are no such thing as hopeless situations. You must always have hope, because everything will find its way to settle down in the end.
I began suspecting I was gay, I believe, around the age of 13 or so and I became positive when I reached 18. It was at that time that I knew I was different and it was then when I realized I was about to get into big trouble.
My parents are homophobes and not the benign type. They are the type that would file a suit against you to remove you from their gene pools, if they were to find out you are gay. Hence my problem.
I managed to keep the secret for a long time
If you have ever been in a situation similar to mine, you probably know how important it is to keep it to yourself. Nobody knew the real me for several years, but it grew harder to maintain the secret after a while.
And it all went downhill after I fell in love with a guy I had known for several years. We have met on the internet, but we have never had the chance of going out in real life, until 3-4 years into our relationship. And when we did, it was absolutely great. He was everything I was looking for in a man. I was only 20 at that time, while he was 24. I was still living with my parents and bringing him to my home was definitely out of the question.
The whole situation saddened me, because I loved him and I knew I couldn’t enjoy our relationship properly. I already knew what my parents were going to say.
Anxiety and depression are a real threat
To be honest, it was my partner, Adrian, that kept me afloat. I could have never made it without him. It all started when my parents began suspecting the truth. From that point on, it was just a matter of time for them to realize the full magnitude of what was going on. Needless to say, they were furious. They were impervious to any attempt to clarify the situation from my part.
They just could not accept that their son was gay. They took it as an insult directed at the name of the family and I pretty much knew there wasn’t much that could be done. That is when I felt like all hope is lost. I felt renegaded and it saddened me greatly to know that my own family had turned its back to me.
I had to leave my own home and look to try and start a new life, on my own. Fortunately, Adrian has been by my side every single step of the way and I couldn’t be more grateful for that.
Closing one chapter, starting another
I found out that, in life, it matters quite a lot to know when to let go, as well as when to fight for what you believe in. I didn’t end my relationship with my parents, they did. In this context, all that I had left was myself and the hopes I carried on with me. That, mixed with the fact that I had a loving and caring man beside me, helped me in dealing with the brutal and shocking change.
Now, almost 4 years later, I have to say I am a fulfilled man. I have the love of my life with me and I am a successful business man, looking for a bright future ahead of me. I regret how things have turned, but, to be honest, good things have emerged out of it. I am no longer ashamed with who I am and neither should anyone else, for that matter.
Life is too short to spend it in depression and making the most out of it is almost every man’s obligation. I regret nothing and, as a final note, everything I went through made me a stronger, better man. I wish you the same.