Relationships are complicated and we always seek ways to improve ourselves, to learn how to keep love safe in a relationship. When you think of a love relationship, you usually think of two people. Well, this time it’s about a relationship where there are three members. And guess what? Everything is going so well in their relationship.
‘When people think of threesomes they immediately think raunchiness and sex. Then they meet us and spend time with us and quickly say, “This all seems really normal”,’ one of the three men confessed.
The three gay men talked about how they started their three way relationship and how they made it work. Louis, David and Sam are a gay “throuple.”
Louis is 47, and David is 54, and they had been in a relationship for six years before meeting Sam. Lat year, David and Louis wanted to bring something more to their relationship, so they’ve started looking for a third person.
‘We came to a bit of a hold in our relationship,’ David said.
They tried with threesomes, but, as David revealed, ‘something was missing. It wasn’t really working for me.’
They met 28-year-old Sam at beards night in London, gave him a ride home and they started dating, the three of them.
‘It was very much like dating,’ 28-year-old Sam said about the beginning of their relationship. ‘I wasn’t looking for a couple. It was the last thing I wanted. I wanted a monogamous relationship. That’s all I ever wanted, really.’
It seems that Sam was determined be part of a relationship, not just a young pleasure for the older David and Louise so he expressed his wish. ‘I made it clear very soon, it was all or nothing, I gave them that choice and they chose,’ Sam said.
Four weeks later they were all living together. The first six months were harder, but once they have managed a hard beginning, things started to settle.
‘It was very messy,’ Louis said. ‘There’s a lot of jealousy and a lot of having to adjust. Everyone’s looking out to see if they’re missing out on attention or affection. There were a lot of arguments in the early days.’
‘It was a bit of a mind-fuck,’ he concluded.
But they worked it out together, they tested each other’s limits and they fixed what was going wrong. During the first three months they did not attach any strings, giving Sam the freedom to leave the relationship if he felt so. After six months everything became easier.
‘Any relationship faces challenges and couples often split up. Who knows what will happen,’ Daid said while nodding in a friendly way. ‘Yes, Sam is younger, and I was very, very worried that our relationship might stop him from enjoying life or he would feel restricted so we promised him, any time he wants to go, any time he feels he’s missing out, he can go. In ten years time I’ll be 64, and he’ll only be 38….’ he concludes.
Despite having the freedom to leave the relationship when he feels like, Sam is happy to be part of the gay throuple and he doesn’t need anything more.
‘I hear this all the time! I don’t feel that I need anything more. Even though I’m quite young, I’m definitely relationship-oriented. This is good. I don’t need a thousand different experiences of sleeping with other people. This works.’
The secret of their relationship is that they speak their minds, they set rules and talk about it, they adjust depending on what the others need. This is how every relationship should be and I think they have a lot to teach, and we have a lot to learn from them.
