An often misconception is that jealousy is a feeling that only insecure people experience; those with low self-esteem and not “at home” with themselves. I myself was an ardent advocate of the idea… Until, I became that jealous guy.
On the other hand, my boyfriend never gets jealous, making me look even worse in my own and his eyes. It’s really not something I am proud of and I know that it’s only trouble that can come out of it; but it’s here and I’m learning how to cope with it. Anyway, I thought about it long and hard, and here are some things we, the jealous ones would appreciate if you could understand.
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- First of all – we’re very sorry about it.
We actually do understand how overwhelming it is for you, and hearing and looking at our flaw all the time is not something we are proud of. As someone said – there is a difference between feeling jealous and acting jealous and we care enough to try and find ways to overcome this unhappy feeling.
- It has nothing to do with the lack of trust on our part.
Because, we do trust you. The thing is that we probably don’t trust ourselves. People measure things by themselves more often than not, and those who have been unfaithful in the past, are often the most jealous bunch. Besides, people have that tendency to screw up from time to time; it would be very difficult to deal with it if you did.
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- Everyone wants to be reassured.
Call it whatever you want – weak, insecure or whatever. But, we appreciate some reassuring from time to time that we are the only one in your life. It means even more if you are the flirty type of person. The thing is – you do it all too well!
- We’re working on it.
I certainly do. And becoming aware of the problem is half the solution. At least I hope it is. The tricky part of the feelings is that they simply come and go as they please. So, it is down to us to find some healthy, constructing way to deal with them.
- Look at it this way – we like you.
Yes, it may be symptomatic of our background issues with self-esteem and confidence; but it also means that we like you enough to wish to keep you all to ourselves. We know the relationships don’t work that way, so we ultimately let you go and share you with the world and hope that you’ll come back to us at the end of the day.
