‘It sounds very cliche, but it feels like our lives have started over’
Gay dads Matt DeLeva and Joseph Littlefield always knew they wanted to be parents. In fact, they even spoke about it on their first date.
Fast forward three and a half years and it’s finally a reality, but it hasn’t been the smoothest journey.
The adorable pair met at a Pride event held at the San Diego Zoo, but they both live in Los Angeles.
They got engaged and then started talking about the process of having a child.
‘We have both known it was in our cards to be parents for a long time,’ Matt told Gay Star News. ‘We looked into surrogacy and fostering, but neither were right for us for our first child.
He added: ‘We wanted to start our journey into fatherhood with a newborn.’
They found an agency in L.A. and said it made the whole process very easy.
‘There are a lot of people trying to scam adoptive parents out there’
Then disappointment struck.
They found a few potential matches with birth parents, but they fell through.
‘It was really painful,’ recounts Matt. ‘I think it was the hardest part about the adoption process.’
He revealed: ‘There are a lot of people trying to scam adoptive parents out there. Matt describes them as ’emotional scammers’ and they’re distinct to financial scammers.
An emotional scammer targets their victims with one goal in mind: getting attention. Some reports warn against people who actively go out of their way to get people’s hopes up and then dash them at the last minute.
‘It makes you have to be guarded with your emotions during a time where you also have to put yourself out there and be open to all possibilities,’ he said.
The day after an emotional scammer hurt the soon-to-be gay dads, they got the news that a boy was born 30 minutes from their house.
Matt said: ‘We went into the situation hopefully optimistic, but protective.
‘The birth parents picked us, and gave us the greatest joy we could have ever received in the form of our son,’ he said.
‘Now everything I do has a purpose’
On their new lives as dads, the adorable gay dads say their lives have changed.
Matt told GSN: ‘It sounds very cliche, but it feels like our lives have started over. We get to relive all the things we loved about our youth through the eyes of our son.
‘Before Theo was born, I was so busy with nonsense. Now everything I do has a purpose,’ he said.
When asked what advice they have for same-sex couples who want to follow in their footsteps and start a family, Matt said: ‘Do it!’
‘Get started now because it takes a while, and you aren’t getting any younger.
Also, ‘sleep train,’ he jokes.
