Lesbians. We are creatures of habit who know what we want and how we want it.
We all either know, or have been, the dyke who couldn’t get enough of new pussy and packed up the U Haul to shack up together and never be apart. Love was cultivated after 2 really good marathon fucks. It starts rolling around in bed, and after double digit orgasms, a righteous lesbian professes her love. Oh, sure. YOU never had that happen to you. Well, for the rest of us standard fare Lebesians, been there, done that.
Now that you live with your girlfriend, the sex is amazing and frequent! Every room, every vehicle, every position. You have acquired a taste for muff-diving unlike any you have had in the past. You want it, nay, need it multiple times a day. The oral is phenomenal, the finger-fucking and dildo play is better than ever, and there aren’t enough hours in the day. If you talk about the new GF to your friends, there is always a friend around to share, “just wait 6 months. You’ll be lucky to get it once a month.” Enter the concept of LBD or, Lesbian Bed Death.
The term was coined in 1983. Since then, it has become many things. An inevitability to some, or perhaps an upcoming disaster that must be avoided. The term has been used to avoid communication, to effectively tell a partner that sex is no longer wanted, or even used as a ploy to end relationships. When the passion dies in any relationship, you find yourself living with your best friend. But even though we have all been in or witnessed sexual dry spells in our community, while a lesbian in love is sitting back trying to fix what happened to her sex life, it is likely that even more heterosexuals are asking the same question.
If there is any unique to being lesbian, it is not bed death. Marriage is now the union we all can share, and it is marriages and long-term relationships that most often experience a decrease in their sex-life. But I have my own opinion about LBD. A study was done once which defined the “sex” act as penetration. If lesbians were only on the hunt for penetration, we would likely not be lesbians! In fact, playtime in bed with toys or a nice afternoon delight of oral sex is still sex! My opinion, and the opinion of many butch and femme women alike, is that LBD is when there is an absence of intimacy. When the lust is gone. When there is no ass pinching or nipple licking, or hands sliding down boxer shorts at any given time, even for a few seconds of passion.
A passionate kiss can be more sexual than sex. Gay women- hell – all women know this. Instead of trying to increase the frequency of sex, increase the expression of lust. Any couple that kisses, touches, playfully nibbles or pinches- this is a couple that is not in bed death, lesbian or not.