I am Zach, 22 years old and I am about to come out to my family today. Some of my friends, those who know the truth about me, always asked me what made me wait this much. But they don’t know my story. They don’t know that my father is a homophobe and my mom usually shares his point of view. My brother, Brandon, has been expelled from the family 2 years ago after admitting being gay. He is 4 years older than me and I still miss him since. He’s moved with his fiance and they seem to be very happy since. I want that for myself. I am craving for somebody to love and appreciate me for who I am and the lie I have lived in until now has to reach its end.
I have met a boy 2 months ago, but no one knows that. Not even my friends. His blue, ravishing eyes and his confident and honest smile instantly took my breath away. He is the first person I feel I have something in common with and he is both my confident and my best friend. Our relationship has been a secret until now and since he is my first boyfriend ever, I kind of grew fond of him. Every day that passes ads something to your relationship. It keeps growing and I know he cares about me. He knows my situation and he always advised me not to do it. I kind of understand his point of view. He wants what’s best for me. But this is not something that can please me anymore. I am tired of constantly lying about who I am and what I want from life. I believe I have the right to be happy, just like everyone else and I have never understood why is this something dependable on my sexual orientation.
I don’t really know how things will evolve, but I know one simple fact. Brandon will be there for me and all I really care about are his love and appreciation. I know what my parents think about this. My father is not abusive so don’t think about that when I am saying the word “homophobe”. But he will definitely be disappointed when finding out about me. I have been thinking about this a lot and I believe that it should make no difference. I am obviously sorry to know that my own father will be disappointed in me and will reject me based on my sexual preferences, but I believe that it is all on him, not me. A parent should support his child no matter what, as long as it is not about illegalities.
I believe that I have the right to be happy and if my parents are not willing to support me, then it basically means that they are ashamed with me.
Of course, it will hurt to know that they’ve rejected me from the family, but maybe it is time to have a family of my own. I know that Brandon loves me and I am sure our love is what will change both of our worlds. I just hope it will not be with the cost of any of our families. Wish me luck!
