It was a warm summer of 1996, and I had just entered the summer vacation. We talked about vacation plans during English class and I had nothing to share. I had no idea how I was going to spend that summer, and I had no idea I liked girls.
However, I got home, threw my backpack and sat down thinking, when the phone rang. I picked up and it was Nina, a friend I met at theatre, she was an actress. She invited me to spend the summer with her in the countryside. I did not hesitate, I said “ok” and few days later we were on a bus on our way to the mountains.
Nina was the type of popular girl, blonde curly hair and dark eyebrows, somehow imposing but warm. I read a book on the bus and she would look at me smiling. I started to feel good, comfortable, I smiled back.
When we got there, the house was empty, her grandparents had passed away some years back. I usually feel weird in empty places I don’t know, but she was there and she was filling the void. I told her I was glad we were there together. Nina was different from the girl I knew, cold and determined. She was kind and thoughtful.
The house was old, with vintage furniture and small rooms. In the back of the house there was this room with a heavy wooden door and we decided to sleep there. The atmosphere was so romantic and I was feeling so cozy. I felt so good that I was there with Nina and I had no idea why. The next day we went hiking, and when we reached a meadow we laid down, side by side, watching the sky. I took Nina’s hand in my hand and we sat there looking at the sky. A warm wind was crossing our path and I felt Nina’s hand in my hair. She looked at me and kissed me on the cheek, then I hugged her. In that moment I felt love, an invasion of pure love going through my body, and I was holding Nina so tight. „I will never let you go,” she whispered in my ear, and I told her that I was not planning on going anywhere.
I am 30 now, and Nina is 42, we are together again after many years when we were apart. That summer I learned what love was and I learned that I loved women. But the only woman in my life was Nina. Life tore us apart, but I never ceased to dream that life will bring us back together. And it did. The story in between is painful, but if that’s the price for real love, I don’t regret it.
