I need to split myself between my wife and another man

Can you love two human beings with the same honesty and intensity? I didn’t believed that for a long time and I have always considered myself as man of principles, constantly aware of what is right and what is wrong and what you should or should not do. This is me, until one year ago. Since then, I am a completely different man and I still don’t know if for the better or for the worse.

I am Adrien, 48 and I am in a 15 years old marriage with the woman of my dreams. We have two kids and we have had the perfect marriage until about one year ago. Just to settle the things right from the get-go, I am not gay. Furthermore, I never recall of having had any attraction towards men which is why it felt very difficult for me to accept that I began liking one.

It all happened all of the sudden, completely unexpected. I currently work as a real estate agent and this is the job I am best at since I have been practicing it for the past 10 something years. I have had both male and female clients, hundreds of them, and I have never been involved in an extra-marriage relationship. I don’t believe in adultery, since I consider love to be all about honesty and loyalty. Maybe this is why my wife Mary and I have been together for so long.

But then Ron came into the equation and everything went apart. Ron has been one of my clients a year ago. He and his wife called me and set an appointment for the next day to discuss about their new home. They seemed to be quite in a rush so I had to postpone my schedule, because clients that are in a hurry are the best clients.

As soon as I saw them I immediately thought that they seemed like the perfect couple. He was tall, well built and elegant, perfectly fitting those impeccable shoes and flawless haircut. His wife was brown and equally elegant and classy. They looked like that rich couple, highly successful in their professional lives. I could almost sense the smell of money.

The meeting was actually quite brief. They explained to me what was it exactly that they were looking for and Ron and I discussed to meet the next day for some neighborhood tours.

He was punctual the next day and he greeted me with warm and politeness, like we were long time friends seeing each other after a long separation. I liked his relaxing personality. I thought he was a handsome man and I found myself thinking about how he would look like with his shirt off. This thought even surprised me, but I never considered it of much importance at that time. The meeting was short, because he immediately found what he was looking for and bought it without any second thought. I liked his determination.

I think it shouldn’t be a surprise for anybody the fact that we remained friends long after that and we often met and had family dinners from once in a while. Ron and I were getting a long pretty well and it all went smooth until he invited me for a wild night with some of his friends to a “special place” he said. He got me intrigued. I should have expected to be a gay bar involved, since I knew some of his friends were gay.

I have to admit that we ended up getting pretty smoked and I think it was the wildest night of my life. I have never dreamed of having half naked me dancing in my lap. Then the atmosphere got us really turned on and I didn’t even realize when I started kissing Ron. It was pure passion and it was impossible for me to see him as a man, but as a person that I enjoyed making out with. No gender issues involved, just pure passion and lust. We ended up having love to each other and it was something that stimulated all of my senses. It was a dream and I have never had regret it since.

I only realized what I had done the next day, but strangely enough I was totally fine with it. Soon, Ron became my drug. We began meeting once or twice a week and get wild, leave aside all prejudice and just make love and completely forget about everything. We have our world of magic and love and no one can take that from us. This has been my sexual life for the past one year plus and, while I can honestly say I live the time of my life, I don’t know where does that place me. I know I have broken my vows to my wife, but Ron is a much greater attraction and he even shadows my lifetime principles.

No one in my family knows what Ron and I have together and I don’t think they should ever know. This love is my own and nobody has the right to steal it from me. I have no idea if this qualifies me as gay or not, but at this point I don’t even care anymore. The love I am experiencing is too great to muddy it by adding a tag to it.