“There is no straight woman. They’re all either bi or gay” Ok, can I die now?

I tried, I really did. The task was to review the recent announcement that women are never straight, but are instead gay or bisexual. In doing so however, I ventured some place that no one should ever go. A forbidden land, full of horrors, that once entered is difficult to escape from.

I’m not talking about Mordor, or the Dark Web – I’m talking about the comments sections.

Newspapers yesterday fell over themselves to report on a recent survey by the Department of Psychology at the University of Essex, which showed that 82% of women who were tested on their arousal when watching naked men and women were aroused by both sexes. 74% of the women who identified as straight were strongly aroused by videos of both “attractive” men and “attractive” women.

Okay. I know you’re dying to hear what I have to say about the comments section I teased you with at the start, but let’s look at this in a little more detail. The emphatic way in which these finding have been reported is obviously ludicrous. The results most definitely don’t show that no women are straight – they don’t even show that most women aren’t straight. They show that when presented with the physical form of either gender, most women can become sexually aroused.

That’s actually a very different thing, which might in itself make for an interesting study – what turns women on versus men. However, the reporting on this has driven people into a frenzy, discussing the “gay agenda” (again) and how we’re trying to eradicate heterosexuality.

Also, what in the hell is “attractive”? I do wonder how scientific and objective that was…

In an era where a YouGov survey found that nearly half of young people (in the survey, not in the UK) do not identify as 100% straight, and where the Kinsey scale has been fractured into a magnificent prism of identities, including straight, lesbian, bisexual, queer, questioning, asexual, aromantic, greysexual, demisexual, monosexual, allosexual, omnisexual and polyamorous, it’s increasingly obvious that people are starting to explore a multiplicity of sexuality.

No longer bound by strict moral judgement or biological imperative, people are free to explore their sexuality, meaning that many end up finding themselves somewhere on a spectrum instead of one of two polar opposites.

Which sounds great, right?

Let’s ask some commentators (no effort made to correct Neanderthal use of language, trigger warning for bigotry, hatred and morons):

“Human nature does not change. It is only “sad” to be in conflict with it, and you obviously are. Homosexuals are reproductively disabled. “Everyone else” is reproductively whole.”

“No amount of propaganda by gender extremsts will alter the fact that an overwhelming majority of men will be attracted to women and vice versa. Anything else will continue to be an aberration.”

“you are so prolific and always in the media and at schools and in everyone’s face and we have to love you all and no homophobia (which im all for I judt get sick of having it shoved into my face all of the time) that you are confusing young people.”

“New report by lesbians claims evryones a lesbian. Shock horror.”

“Since the abolition of clause 28 by Bliar, a hugely disproportionate number of 16 year olds have been leaving secondary education believing they’re queer. It’s only a matter of time before the gender benders are running every aspect of our lives, and the straight majority are living under their thumb.”

So there we have the awful truth of it, folks. Some people interpret a frankly ropy “scientific” report to mean all women are bisexual, some other people think that anyone who is LGBT is “disabled”. The more things change…

One final thought from me: how is it that when these articles come out, hundreds of straight people stumble into the comments section? Why does it bring out the crazies? Are they sitting at home, desperately waiting on the latest LGBT article so that they can comment on how rubbish it is to read LGBT articles and how the gay agenda and multiculturalism are destroying the promised land of the UK?

These are questions we may never get an answer to…