This is a question everybody wants to answer whenever they see an 80 years old couple saying that they’ve been together for more than half a century. What’s the secret to a happy marriage? Well, it seems like the secret is not just one, but many.
This is a topic that always interested me even since I was too young to actually be relevant. It started interesting me even more after I got in my first relationship and it soon turned out to be a long lasting one. 11 years and counting that is. I have got friends asking me how could I keep sticking to a partner for so long? Didn’t I get bored? The obvious reason was no, but why? And what makes some people cheat or divorce, while others flourish together? To answer these questions, here are few things psychologists teach us as means to a happy and long lasting relationship:
- Respect each other
This refers to the fact that we are all different, we all have different habits and bugs, but learning how to accept each other’s personality, with both good and bad, is the quintessence of respect. And respect is essential in any relationship, because if you like being respected, you must be prepared to offer some in equal amount.
2. Do not fear fights
Obviously, I am not talking about cracking each other’s heads, but you must be aware of the fact that there is no relationship free of verbal fighting, simply because we are so different. Actually, you can learn a lot about your partner during some arguing because that’s when you get to see what’s in his head that he always feared of showing. The most important thing is to not hold grudge, be understanding and make peace as soon as possible. You will see how sweet it is.
3. Communicate
This is by far the most essential thing and it is what makes the difference between a happy relationship and a failed one. None of us reads minds and if you are bothered by something at your partner, never fear showing it. You cannot solve your problems if you do not lay them in front of you. Communication is what strengthens the bond between you, because it helps builds trust. Your partner will be more open towards you if he knows you will listen and support him.
4. Show your love
If you love him, don’t be afraid and let him know. Showing affection is what keeps your relationship awake and pounding. You like receiving affection and attention? So does he. You would be amazed to find out how intense the usual “I love you” is when offered with no reason other than showing your affection.
5. Learn each other’s sexual personality
What this means is that we are different in sexual availability and while this is something that seems a bad thing, the fact that we are different is actually good. Researchers found out that the optimal number of sex acts for a happy and satisfied couple is twice a week at most. More sex doesn’t necessarily mean happier relationships. Be aware of your partner’s sex drive and respect it if you want the same in return. This means that you need to go back to point 3.
I’ve encountered more than just these 5 tips, but all the other ones just seemed secondary.
Everything else may vary, but not the importance of respect, love, sexuality, communication and understanding. – huffingtonpost.com
For me, these are the most important ones and if you follow them by the letter, you are in for a long and happy relationship. Everything else may vary, but not the importance of respect, love, sexuality, communication and understanding.
