For the Christmas Eve, I had a different plan this year. I was going to celebrate it along with my mother and grandma in the village, where they live in our country house. I only wanted to pay some attention to them, because they are everything I’ve ever had, so this Christmas Eve and even the New Year Eve were planned to be enjoyed along with them. I was done with nightclubs and parties, I needed some relaxation and care, and so I did.
It was awesome, but quickly the holidays were over, and I was returning to my normal life, my bus ticket was already booked for the 3rd of January, 2016. Then a friend living in the village, called me and somehow made me stay for another day, I accepted that. I had nothing to do, the devil in my head commanded me to open my gay dating application. As usual, I had tens of messages, which I was going to ignore again, but one profile caught my eye, I kindly responded with a ‘Hey, Happy New Year to you, too!’ text message.
Then I saw, he was from Istanbul, Turkey. “Come on, why are you even giving a chance to a guy, hundreds of kilometers away from you?” I asked myself, but I continued chatting. He asked about my location, and I told him. “Oh, really? That’s almost the place I’m travelling to, right now” was his reaction. But I had given the nearest city name, then I clarified: “Yes, but I’m in a village 10 minutes far from the city.” I told him the village name, too.“ Oh, my… But this is the village I’m travelling to, it’s my birthplace, I haven’t been to this country so many years…” he answered. I felt my excitement everywhere on my skin, what a coincidence! Or was it a coincidence? Our chatting continued quite long, and we were ready to see each other in the next evening. The weather turned its dark side, a snowstorm came and the temperature went down to -15° C. I was sick, but I had promised…I had to keep it, and to be honest, I wanted to see him. He phoned me, and we arranged the time-venue thing.
I hadn’t noticed him and I was swiftly walking towards the venue, he had been following me through that time, trying to catch up with me, finally he did, and one guy in the dark said: “Merhaba!. That’s a Turkish greeting. I faltered when I heard this, I was scared to death, then he hugged me, so as he felt guilty. We started talking, over every few minutes, he was telling that my voice is very sweet and that he would love to listen to me singing. We were rounding the village, trying to talk, but my lips were almost frozen, I couldn’t talk anymore, it was better to go home, only he didn’t want to leave me so quickly, as I was going to Sofia on the next day, he offered to take me to their hut, where nobody was staying that night.
We went there and he lit the fireplace, we continued our warm conversation. He was a 28-year-old man, that was strange, with my 19 years, I had never been attracted by a man of his age. Perhaps, after so many disappointments, I needed a mature guy… That night would always stay stamped in my mind. Feeling his warm words…Then his warm, mature and muscular body on my skin… In the morning, he was sleeping, he didn’t see me, I gave a kiss to his lips and left the hut, he was very upset that he hadn’t said goodbye to me.
I had promised to record my voice, singing his favourite song, that’s what I did, and he was in love with that short cover. He told me that he had been replaying it tens of times. Since the moment I left the hut, I have been missing him, a few days ago he returned to Istanbul…And our paths seem to be divided now, but who knows, life loves to surprise people. I’ll be looking forward to seeing that surprise.
Here is the cover he wanted… God, I can’t help missing him…