My new BF has a reputation for a doing a certain, ahem, something in bed, but he won’t do it with me! What gives?
Hi Jake,I just started dating a new guy, and apparently he has a “reputation.” It turns out that about four of my friends have slept with him over the years, and one even said he’s known around town as “the bottom we’ve all had.” It doesn’t bother me that much that he’s been with a lot of guys.
I mean, I have too! What bothers me is that he hasn’t wanted to bottom for me–not even once!–since we started dating, and I find that very strange considering what I know about him. Subscribe to our newsletter for a refreshing cocktail (or mocktail) of LGBTQ+ entertainment and pop culture, served up with a side of eye-candy.I’ve made quite a few innuendos and suggestions about it, but he seems to ignore or dismiss them. Should I be offended that he bottoms for others, but won’t share that side of himself with me?
It makes me wonder if there’s something wrong with me that he doesn’t have interest. The Top We’ve All HadDear The Top We’ve All Had,I can understand having some feelings about the fact that “the bottom we’ve all had” feels more like “the bottom you can’t have”!If you happen to know your man has shared himself in certain ways with others, but isn’t doing that with you, it can feel like he’s withholding a part of himself.
When there’s a feeling of denying or holding back in a relationship, it can feel hurtful, because you might assume your partner is choosing to close off a part of himself from you.