The following is an excerpt from the new book American Teenager: How Trans Kids Are Surviving Hate and Finding Joy in a Turbulent Era by Nico Lang, out today via Abrams Press.A post shared by Nico Lang (@queernewsdaily)As he lurches toward me, step by ponderous step, Rhydian tries his hardest not to laugh, his smile breaking a little more as he gets closer. In the classroom around him, Rhydian’s peers perform the same giggle-inducing task, maintaining strict eye contact as they march on the tips of their shoes. The endeavor is transparently silly, but Rhydian’s professor, Mr.
Evans, says it serves a purpose: to make his pupils comfortable sharing personal space with one another, to teach them how to be part of a community. His goal is to see how close the students can get, whether they can be vulnerable enough to stand within inches of their classmates. Most of the group is successful, although a few grow tired of the prompt and doodle a cartoon dog on a sheet of paper on the floor instead.
An arrow points toward the hound’s long, bashful face, along with a cryptic proclamation: “GUILTY.” This exercise, like many performed that day, is adapted from a counseling 101 course that Mr. Evans took in college before joining the faculty at MCAA, a charter school nestled in the Birmingham suburb of Homewood, fewer than 500 yards outside the city. The students practice active listening by engaging in conversations, with three different objectives in mind: summarizing, paraphrasing, and asking questions.
Being able to summarize and paraphrase—by parroting back something their partners just said—allows students to demonstrate their engagement, and it’s something that people typically do in conversation all the time, usually without realizing it. But many of these students were extremely isolated and detached in their previous communities, rarely having the occasion to practice these foundational social skills. Although Rhydian estimates that 70 percent of his classmates are
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