Comedian Jerrod Carmichael opened up about the “self-hate” he felt before coming out. Back in April, the 35-year-old publicly came out as gay in his critically acclaimed HBO special Rothaniel.
While talking about his father’s infidelity, the TV star said he felt “like a liar” when the affair became public knowledge due to his own secret. “After that was out in the open, I was left alone feeling like a liar, because I had a secret,” he said. “One that I kept from my father, my mother, my family, my friends, and you.
Professionally, personally. And the secret is that I’m gay.” Since the release of Rothaniel, Carmichael has become an open book regarding his life as a newly out gay man.
During a recent interview on the Ellen DeGeneres Show, the Mid90s star reflected on his coming out journey and the self-hate he felt while in the closet. “I’m sure some of the bits and things in my life that I deeply regret were a product of, like, self-hate and denying who I really was,” he explained. “So I think the material and a lot of those things – like when I wasn’t talking about myself, I was talking about everybody outside of myself, just throwing missiles as much as I could. “All smoke bombs, all distractions from who I really was and the thing I was afraid of.” Elsewhere in the interview, Carmichael praised DeGeneres for the massive impact she had on him growing up. “We both faced whatever obstacles coming out, and everyone has their own personal journey, family things and personal things to overcome,” he said. “But you faced coming out at a time when, I mean, it just was impossible.