Every ‘Halloween’ movie ranked from least to most gay
YASSSSSS-ified Bunny, we all know that Halloween is the gayest holiday. But what of the film franchise born from its name? The original Halloween is one of the most influential films of the last 50 years, among the most profitable movies ever made, and has launched the career of a legitimate superstar in OG final girl, Jamie Lee Curtis, in addition to 11 sequels.
All of that is great, iconic, and spooky but is it gay?We take a closer look in advance of the series’ “final” installment, Halloween Ends, by ranking all 12 (!!!!) of the Halloween movies by gayness—a scientific and wholly reasonable metric.There is a reading of this Rob Zombie-directed reboot that could be gay, in that it’s trying so hard to be “no homo,” that it sort of protests too much.
Unfortunately, any inkling of queerness gets tossed aside due to the film’s aggressive unpleasantness, securing its position as the messiest bottom on the list.
If you can get past the constant screaming (there’s so much screaming, you guys), you’re in for lots of sexual assault, homophobia, and just oodles of misogyny.
