Jake Myers Life Advice Jake Myers

I don’t know if I’m a bottom, and I’m embarrassed

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Hi Jake,I’m fairly new to the gay world, and still trying to figure out where I fit in. I spend a lot of time chatting on the apps, and everyone is always asking me if I’m a “top, bottom, or versatile.” The embarrassing truth is, I don’t know.

I haven’t had that many sexual experiences to figure it out, and some were totally awkward, so I don’t know if I should judge anything based on those. The worst part is I feel a pressure to pick an identity.

When I leave that blank in my profile, it’s the first question I get from potential hook-ups, and it’s been hard to dance around that issue.

Even in my social groups, I don’t really know what to say when my friends make jokes. How should I answer people when I’m cornered about my sexual preferences, and how do I even begin to know what I like?Lost in the SackDear Lost in the Sack,Figuring out your sexual preferences is a journey we all go through, and the thing about a journey is that it’s constantly evolving rather than taking you “gayly forward” to a destination.That said, you get to experiment however you want, and define yourself in whatever way feels comfortable to you.

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