“You had the conversation, ‘I don't want to be alive anymore?’” Oprah asked.“It wasn’t even, ‘I don’t want to,’” Meghan said. “It was like, ‘These are the thoughts that I’m having the middle of the night that are very clear … and I’m scared, because this is very real.
This isn't some abstract idea. This is methodical, and this is not who I am.’” In the two-hour special, the duke and duchess painted a distressing portrait of their post-marriage life within the royal family.
While she was pregnant with their son, Archie, senior members of the family allegedly discussed "how dark his skin might be when he’s born" and whether he would be deserving of a prince's title and corresponding security.