Am I being catfished? Hello beautiful people. Insert random complaint about the weather here. Just kidding. But I did notice I do that a lot.
Like I’m trying to make small talk with myself. If I were a straight dude, I’d say, “Hot enough for ya?” If I were a true southern belle I’d say, “Lord a’mighty, tis awfully warm this morn, and I just know it’s gonna be a scortcha of a day.” But I am a moody gay man/drag queen, so I will just say it’s hot as balls and try not to use the word “moist” when complaining about the heat.
Some of y’all just hate that word — moist. One last time: moist. These past few weeks I have apparently become incredibly attractive.