BBC Sport. “I felt stuck not being able to be authentically me. I didn’t want to admit I’d deceived people and lied for so long, which left me feeling alienated.”"Diving became this darkness which permeated the rest of my life," he added. "I really hated it, but I knew it was my one chance to be special, so I kept going, effectively on autopilot."In his youth, the Australian athlete also struggled with "neglect" from his mother, who suffered from her own mental health problems.