How to cope with estrangement on Father’s Day
Father’s Day brings with it a crush of ads reminding us to treat one of the most important men in our lives to something special.Commercials for cheese hampers and beer-of-the-month subscriptions skyrocket thanks to the assumption that everyone must, surely, have a dad worthy of such delights.But what if you don’t?
Counselling Directory member Debbie Fletcher tells us: ‘We all have our own unique relationship with our fathers, based on a shared or sometimes an unshared history, so Father’s Day is not always a joy-filled occasion. ‘For some of us, it can bring up difficult and painful emotions, which are hard to ignore when everywhere you look you see the “perfect” father and child relationship.’First, let’s break down some of those feelings before we get to tips on how to cope with them. ‘Feelings around estrangement can be complex, or surprising – sadness, anger, guilt, or even relief – can all come into play,’ Debbie explains. ‘Anger at the way you have been treated, guilt over cutting off someone who is struggling with something that makes them someone you cannot safely have in your life, or maybe sadness for the relationship you have slowly drifted away from.‘For LGBTQ+ people, an estrangement that is tied up with a rejection of the sexuality or gender can feel particularly hurtful from someone who is meant to love you unconditionally.
