The gay scene has a toxic masculinity problem. Here’s how we can end it together.
“I’m so tired of all this political correctness,” Pete says.We are at the Eagle in New York City.“Why do they have to come here?
Can’t we have one place that is just for us?”They are a group of young guys, early 20’s, dressed in bright colors, one carrying a purse and wearing high heels, dressed in a leather Tom-of Finland style hat, carrying a leather paddle, another in a skirt and a leather harness.“They’re making a mockery out of the leather scene, out of being a man.”“They’re just having fun,” Chris says. “It’s no big deal.”“Right, cuz you’d hook up with one of them?”“I don’t know, the one in the harness is pretty hot.”Remember when former Dragula contestants on tour in the UK were turned away from the Manchester Eagle because they had a woman in their group?And across the globe, a popular LA party for “Dads” and muscle bears refused entry to a trans man because his ID stated his gender as female, even though he presented as male.I’ve received countless emails and comments on my blog from people who have experienced discrimination for not being “masculine” enough.Here are just a few:“I was recently turned away at a gay bar in San Francisco because my boyfriend was in a dress.
We were told the party ‘wasn’t for us.’ When I asked what that meant the guy at the door just looked at my boyfriend and said, ‘This party is for men only.’ In San Francisco!
I mean, this is supposed to be the gay capital.”“I was turned away at a bear event in LA because, as the doorman put it, ‘We don’t let drag queens in here.’ I tried to explain to him that I wasn’t a drag queen.
