Before Eva Goodwin and her wife became parents, it was Ms. Goodwin who was mainly responsible for the thinking, planning and problem-solving that would prevent their home from devolving into chaos.
Her tasks included planning the meals, remembering to fill out paperwork and keeping track of the bills and when they needed more cleaning supplies, work that psychologists refer to as “cognitive labor,” also known as the mental load. “I was definitely ‘the tracker,’” she said. “I think that there’s an element of just slipping into gendered roles, even in a queer partnership.
I’m the more feminine and she’s the more masculine.” But then Ms. Goodwin’s wife gave birth to their first child. Her wife started breastfeeding, then took ownership of the.