As a librarian who has dated both men and women, I couldn’t help but think of how my various loves would be categorized by the Dewey Decimal Classification.
Stefan, for example, was an architect (720.23), as well as a Californian (979.4) with eyes like the ocean (551). Our love felt like a fairy tale (398.2); I knew I was marrying this guy.
At the same time, I felt a pang of loss, because I was “choosing a side” (much as I hate that expression), and being a queer feminist was a big part of my identity.
What would it mean to make a life with a man? How would I categorize myself — and us? I didn’t have much time to contemplate this back in 2008.