ScaryMommy.com she said: "I made up excuses for why this crush had appeared: My friend was very intelligent, and my feelings were simply exaggerated admiration."My friend had helped me through a tough time and I was experiencing transference, that thing when a patient falls in love with their therapist."My friend was a vessel in which to deposit my irrational, impossible-to-fulfill desires because I wasn’t content unless I was inventing problems for myself.
Or I was simply having an early mid-life crisis."However, when she was working on a sex scene for her novel, which was inspired by her secret gay crush, she realised her only experience with lesbian sex was the "pathetic glob of fumbling, terrified fantasies in my head".She decided to.