My India My India

My ‘BBC’ is my brown sexuality without having to explain or fit a stereotype

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Justin gazed at me with reverent fascination, finding something only he could see. ‘I love your big brown eyes,’ he said. ‘They’re so exotic.’ On our first morning together, he made me eggs benedict with fresh ingredients we got from Whole Foods.

On our way to the dairy section, we passed by the ‘Ethnic Foods’ aisle – a collection of hot sauce, soy and freeze-dried Indian.

I was Justin’s ethnic fantasy, his man with the BBC. Porn shows brown men as well-endowed, aggressive, raunchy lovers who deliver a deeply satisfying climax.

Pop culture depicts brown men as aggrieved or hypersexual. But porn or pop culture rarely portray Indian men. So, the world I saw through my big brown eyes was one that saw me in clashing extremes: the desexualized

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