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Penn Badgley shares the awkward note he received during one of his self-pleasuring scenes in ‘You’

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You is probably one of the most psychologically complex shows on TV right now, specifically because it forces us to confront one very dark question: What happens when you find a creepy killer to be very, very hot?Yes, the former Lifetime series made quite the casting coup when it nabbed Gossip Girl‘s Penn Badgley for the lead role of Joe Goldberg, an obsessive serial murderer who compulsively stalks the women he develops crushes on.

Again, creepy!The problem here is that Badgley—in real life—is one sexy man. So much so that many of You‘s fans have found themselves developing a nasty habit of crushing on Joe, the killer, by extension.

It’s all very complicated, especially for the actor who has struggled with the concept of playing a dangerous, detestable human while being a total TV hunk.Recently, on Podcrushed (the Stitcher podcast where the actor reads and discusses fans’ middle school stories), Badgley opened up about the challenge of walking that fine line while filming You‘s many intimate moments.

The sex scenes are one thing, but where he really struggles? Masturbation.“I’ve now done it so many times on camera,” the Easy A star shared. “It’s a strange—you don’t think it’s going to be that big of a deal, and then you discover [you’re] in front of a crew of people with a camera on your face, knowing that in all likelihood, millions of people are going to see this.”Without another actor to work with, to play off of, one can imagine those scenes feel very strange—just miming self pleasure in front of your co-workers.

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