How to deal with nerves the first time you have same-sex sex
metro.co.uknerves are overwhelming, it’s time to tackle them. So, how do we do that? You’re about to do something new – what if instead of viewing that as a scary thing, you see it as exciting? ‘Try to focus on the positives.
As with lots of new experiences things can seem daunting, however if you re-package nerves as excitement then you’ll be able to build what’s known as “positive anticipation”, which will help you to really get the most out of the experience as a whole,’ Annabelle suggests.
You don’t need to pretend to be totally cool or act like you know what you’re doing. It’s actually pretty endearing to openly say that you’re a touch nervous. ‘We can combat nerves by opening up communication with our partner, or if you feel able to, telling them that you might be feeling a bit nervous,’ says Lelo’s sex and relationships expert Kate Moyle.
You might still be holding on to a traditional definition of sex, viewing it only as penis in vagina penetration. The reality is that sex can encompass all sorts of joyous things – stroking, licking, caressing… And the thing is, if you’ve been in ‘straight’ sex setups before, you’ve likely played with all of these bits of sex.
