I’m looking for the man of my dreams – are you the one?
here People will rightly ask me why I wanted to put myself out there this way. Frankly, it’s because it’s time to do something different.Although I have been in love twice (and one or two occasions when I thought I was), nothing has ever quite ‘stuck.’ I have tried every dating app under the sun – almost to the point of repetitive strain injury – and realised that for me, it just may never work.There have been so many times when I’ve thought I might just be getting somewhere when chatting with a guy, but then things have just stopped for no reason at all.Perhaps that’s because, for some, ‘swiping’ has become the goal in itself and when they realise that the person they’re messaging wants to meet, they don’t actually feel they want any more (or we’ve got to the point of making plans to meet, he gets cold feet because he realises that I actually exist) and that’s that.I’ve deleted so many apps so many times that all the memories seem to roll into one, but an exchange of ‘it’s been lovely talking to you, looking forward to meeting you,’ and then absolutely nothing when I follow up on the day of meeting, pretty much sums up my online dating experiences.
The worst was when I did meet up with someone. We seemed to be having a good time, but then I realised that he was browsing a dating app right in front of me.I’ve often wondered if my disability makes it impossible for me to live up to the images of supposed perfection that we so regularly see projected through online dating in the gay community.
It’s very obvious that I use a wheelchair in most photos of me, so people don’t have to go far in order to make an instant negative judgement, if that’s what they want to do.I have certainly felt excluded because I’m visibly.
