sober: Last News

Hi Jake,I have been sober for 18 months now after spending all of my 20s and most of my 30s partying way too hard. Now I feel like I’m playing catch-up, and it sucks.Even though I finished college, I never landed on a career path I was excited about, mostly because I was more excited about going out every single night for 15+ years. So I have a lot of random retail experience, but no marketable skills. I also didn’t bother creating a retirement account until just this year, so I’m very behind on that.When it comes to relationships, I can’t remember the last time I went on a date, although I haven’t really been putting myself out there much. Honestly, I’m less concerned about that part, since my focus has been on my sobriety. But it’s hard not to feel sometimes like I’m super far behind in life compared to friends my age. They all have careers and families and own homes… and some even have kids!Getting sober was the hardest thing I’ve ever done, and the best decision I’ve ever made, and I’m totally committed to it. Equally as hard, however, is essentially being a middle-aged man with the resources and experiences of a college student. Nobody I know really understands that part of the struggle.I feel like I’m so behind on “adulting” and wondering if I’ll ever make up for lost time. Am I alone in this?Fashionably LateDear Fashionably Late,Getting sober is a huge, huge accomplishment, and you should feel really proud of yourself.