Ask Howard • 08-19-22
When size matters … Size queens, rejoice! Honey, I got chills, and they’re multiplying! Yes, it’s August. Yes, it’s venomously hot.
Yes, everybody’s vacationing (at least those who are not, unfortunately, stuck back in school already are vacationing). And, yes, everybody has exactly the same question on their minds: Where in the world can I find one last big summertime dick to play with?
Well, bois, as crooned so sultrily, in the chords of our recently lost ONJ, “Have you never been mellow? Have you never tried?” Well alrighty, Howard here has some statistics for you on losing all control: Simply Google “international penis size comparisons.” Instantly, you’ll land upon WorldData.info, whereupon (to the shock of absolutely nobody) you’ll discover that the single most-asked question is, “What is the average erect size of a male genital?” Believe it or not, of all the countries on planet Earth, erections in the United States are but the median-average standard bearer, pulling up at 13.58 centimeters or, rather, 5.38 inches. “That’s it?” you ask. “Gurl, wha?” Yes, in fact, global-wide, the U.S.
ranks way down at number 60, slap-dab in the middle-range area — just one middling rung above Japan at number 61 (13.56 cm) and an infinitesimal rung beneath number 59, Israel (13.60 cm).
