an advice-seeker who contacted Slate started dating his long-term best friend. “We’re a perfect match and stupidly attracted to each other,” he wrote, “but our sex life has been floundering recently.”The problem seems to be that the two are so used to hanging out platonically, that they both feel a little uncomfortable and clueless about how to relate sexually.The two are so used to playing video and tabletop games together that when they had an evening in with no plans, the boyfriend suggested they play the card game Uno.
Another time, when the two were playing video games, and his boyfriend said he wanted to “ravage” him, the advice-seeker cluelessly mentioned that the game they were playing didn’t have a player-versus-player option.“We’ve had sex, but it’s usually on formal dates, which are pre-established to be more than ‘just friendly,'” the advice-seeker wrote. “Asking for it outside that rarely pans out.”While Slate’s resident advice-giver Rich Juzwiak thought that the couple’s sex life could benefit from the erotic build-up of going on more dates, he also warned that the awkwardness could be a sign that they’re lacking bedroom chemistry, a possible red flag for a brand-new relationship.The boyfriend could be having second thoughts, or perhaps their long-term friendship made the boyfriend see his mate as more of a friend rather than a boyfriend.
Or it could be that both guys are moving at “different speeds,” Juzwiak wrote.“If you are such good friends, you should be able to talk about this,” Juzwiak added, noting that the advice-seeker may be avoiding the conversation for fear of a breakup.Despite any fear, he told the advice-seeker to go ahead and discuss it. “It is better for you to know now, before you get more.