Dear Michael, I’m a 39 year-old gay man. Over the past decade I’ve been watching my straight friends from college date, marry, have kids, and buy houses.
Their lives seem really fulfilling. In the meantime, like all my gay friends, I’ve been hooking up and drinking too much and partying on weekends.
I realize that I hate my gay life. I think it’s vapid. I never thought I would say this but I actually wish I were straight because I think my life would be better and easier.
I don’t think this is internalized homophobia and I don’t think I’m idealizing my straight friends’ lives. I look around me and compare their lives to my life and my gay friends’ lives and it’s obvious that their lives are more meaningful.