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My husband wants to give my homophobic father-in-law money, but I do NOT want to help him. Am I being a jerk?

Hi Jake,My father-in-law is a homophobic jerk who has treated my husband (his son) like dirt his entire life. Not only was he really hard on him as a kid, but after my husband came out, he didn’t talk to him for six years. When they finally patched things up, he would still make rude and disparaging remarks about his “lifestyle”, our marriage, and LGBTQ+ people in general. To this day, he won’t say more than three words to me when we’re in a room together.Now, he’s getting older (mid 70s) and struggling with finances since he never did a good job saving. He recently sent an email asking my husband and me for help covering some of his living expenses. His rent is going up and he’s having trouble affording things like his cellphone, gas, and groceries. We haven’t agreed to anything yet, but my husband is leaning towards giving him some money, possibly even offering a monthly allowance!Subscribe to our newsletter for a refreshing cocktail (or mocktail) of LGBTQ+ entertainment and pop culture, served up with a side of eye-candy.I feel very strongly that we should NOT use our shared finances to help a man who has made his feelings about our “lifestyle” very clear for the last 20 years. Am I a jerk for not wanting to support someone who has never, even to this day, supported us?Stingy…Not SorryDear Stingy…Not Sorry, Some people say that “family is family”, and no matter what, you should always take the “high road” and help out when you can… even when they don’t really deserve it.
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