Are age gaps in gay relationships hot or fraught? Guys say…
Is it wrong for a Gen Z-er to be attracted to a Gen X-er, and is the converse creepy? Those are the questions Reddit user recently asked the sages of the r/AskGayMen subreddit.
This user, whom we’ll nickname Z, says he’s 21 years old and is “mainly attracted” to men in the 35-to-50-year-old range.“Although it feels totally natural to me, I sometimes cannot refrain from thinking whether there might be something slightly wrong with it,” he wrote.Z said that if he were the older one, he’d feel predatory dating someone 20 years younger.
But he doesn’t feel that way about the older men he dates. “Most of the time, they’re more mature and responsible (as should be expected, of course),” he said. “And in general, I feel like they have more to offer intellectually.”Z also wondered if the taboo of dating someone much older was part of the allure for him—or if he had “unresolved daddy issues” in his subconscious. “Anyway, what are your thoughts about it?” he asked. “If you’re an older man attracted to younger guys, why do you find them attractive?”Related: At what point does an age-gap relationship represent a power imbalance?One commenter said he and his husband have been together for 16 years, and they’re 17 years apart. “You just have to be realistic about later years in life, when most likely, the older [person] will die, leaving the younger with many years left to live.
But that can be any relationship at any age,” that commenter added. “Don’t build a relationship just on the sex. There has to be a lot more in common to keep life fun for both.
