Can I Ask Straight Women to Stop Calling Their Pals ‘Girlfriends’?
As a lesbian, I cringe when I hear straight women refer to their platonic friends as ‘‘girlfriends.’’ This usage feels as if it diminishes the significance of the term within the lesbian community.
Lesbians use ‘‘friend’’ to mean a platonic friend and ‘‘girlfriend’’ to mean a romantic partner. It feels like an erasure of lesbians (and other queer identities) when straight women use ‘‘our’’ term.
I’m not saying that they are intending to be homophobic or harmful, but the impact is anti-L.G.B.T.Q.+. The use of the word ‘‘girlfriend’’ also leads to confusion.
A colleague recently wrote to the staff that ‘‘my girlfriend of over 25 years passed away.’’ Those who know this colleague well understood that she was referring to her best friend; those who didn’t know her had to guess.
