Gay Twitter™ is flush with hilarious tweets about urinals
Urinals may be welcome sights for anyone with a full bladder, but plenty of people are pissed off, so to speak, whenever they have to use them.In 2016, for example, Callum McCulloch wrote for The Tab that using a urinal “is the most socially awkward part of being a man.” He wrote:There is always a bloke who unleashes their junk like they’re lifting a bag of rocks.
And is an elongated and alarmingly sexual exhaling of breath really necessary? My distaste isn’t born out of masculine inadequacy — that’s an article for another time — rather, for the peacocking ritual itself. … In fact, I dislike using urinals so much in clubs I will pretend to be on something — sniffing like I’ve just smashed a seven-gram rock — to justify my use of the cubicle (“Is my nose bleeding?
Well, it feels like it’s bleeding.”).And then there’s the phenomenon of “shy bladder,” as Louis Staples detailed for Vice in 2018:After about 30 seconds of inaction, the panic sets in, soon evolving into full-blown mental catastrophe as I realise that nothing is coming.
I quickly improvise a performance of faux penis shaking and hand drying, before exiting sheepishly. … The expectation to use a urinal and to pee standing up are the two biggest downsides of penis ownership.
