“I’m dating both halves of a couple but neither of them know it – what can I do?”
Polyamorous educator Leanne Yau responds to a reader who has unwittingly become a forgotten member of a throuple. WORDS LEANNE YAU Welcome to A Polyamorous Perspective, an advice column where I, Leanne Yau – a bisexual, polyamorous, and neurodivergent educator, writer, advocate, and expert at Taimi – answer your burning questions on navigating all things non-monogamy.
I’ve been in various forms of open relationships since 2016, and have been publicly sharing tips, personal stories, and resources on how to practise healthy, sustainable polyamory since 2020 on my page, @polyphiliablog.
What a dilemma! I can only imagine how uncomfortable and anxious you must be feeling in having to deal with keeping such a big secret from two people at the same time.
Dating two people who have explicitly asked for secrecy, only to find out they’re a couple, adds a layer of complexity you didn’t sign up for.
