Years ago, as a gay dad, my kids’ elementary school had PTA meetings, and events and lots of chores for needing parental support.
I showed up and joined a bunch of, usually, moms to pitch in. Many of the women would gush “Oh, you are SUCH a great dad!” I heard it a lot.
NO I AM NOT, I would think, well — OK, maybe I was striving to be that, but not for the reason they were saying I was one. I was, as they were, doing what my children needed me to do.
I was a decent dad in those moments. I was doing what, to me, was the bare minimum, nothing outstanding, nothing heroic. I was just showing up.