Olympian Matthew Mitcham has left fans heartbroken after revealing his personal turmoil in coming to terms with his sexuality in the latest SAS Australia episode.
On Tuesday (17 October), Matthew was subject to a routine interrogation from the staff that led him to reveal that as a child he tried to “train” himself not to be gay.
He explained that from the age of five he knew that he was gay, but struggled with layers of internalised homophobia. “I kinda knew from (the age of) five that I liked boys.
Through primary school and religion, that’s when shame started getting put on to it,” he revealed. “And so then I put a rubber band around my wrist – because I knew that being gay was such a bad thing – I put a rubber band around my wrist and every time I had a gay thought I’d snap the rubber band against my wrist to try associate pain with it to try and train myself out of being gay.” Later in the interview Matthew continued to speak about his journey with self harm: “I just didn’t feel good enough.