My mother has late-stage dementia. I handle her finances, which includes making annual donations in her name. One of the aides who cares for her has asked me to make a donation to the aide’s church.
I said I would, but when I looked up the church I saw that they will not perform same-sex weddings and that they believe homosexuality is a sin.
As a gay man, I won’t support any organization that doesn’t support me. While my mother’s money is not mine, is it wrong of me to deny her aide’s request? — Name Withheld From the Ethicist: Your job, as a trustee, is to represent your mother’s values and interests.
In general, you should use her money to support causes you think she would want to support, at least within reasonable bounds.