Do threesomes help or hurt long-term relationships? Gays share their experiences
sought insights from both parties in the r/AskGaybrosOver30 forum. This user said he and his partner, who are both in their 40s, enjoy “an excellent sex life and a strong physical and emotional connection” and have started to get less vanilla recently. “Our new sense of adventure has made me curious about potentially exploring threesomes or foursomes, as I’ve always liked the fantasy of it,” he wrote. “For those who have been in long-term monogamous relationships that already had good sexual chemistry, did threesomes help or harm your relationship?”Subscribe to our newsletter for a refreshing cocktail (or mocktail) of LGBTQ+ entertainment and pop culture, served up with a side of eye-candy.Pro tips.He explained that he thinks threesomes could make his and his partner’s sex life even more fun.
But he also worries about “messing up something that is already very good by possibly introducing complicated dynamics like jealousy,” he wrote.In the comments, other Redditors shared a spectrum of experiences, and one gave a ringing endorsement to the book Polysecure by Jessica Fern for anyone in a relationship, monogamous or otherwise. (“The way attachment theory is explained is just so digestible—it’s sort of the gold standard of books on consensual non-monogamy,” that commenter wrote.)Here’s a sampling of responses from the thread—edited for readability, brevity, and printability here on Queerty—sorted into the yeses, the nos, and the maybe-sos.“It revolutionized our sex life.
We have a guy we regularly play with, and it is amazing.”“From my experience, almost all of the threesomes I’ve had within otherwise monogamous relationships have brought me and my partner closer together!
It’s a fun shared adventure, and you get to talk about it afterwards (what turned you on, what made you want to laugh, what made you uncomfortable).
